Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts.

Going back to where I ranted about how intial feelings are important, and that devotion to one person is crucial... I feel like I completely missed an important point.  How do you know you're not just wasting your time?

The best thing I can say is this: if you're in the situation where you're wondering about who you are with and you can't figure it out together, figure it out apart... for a while.  When you come back, odds are pretty good that you'll realize you had so much confusion for a reason; that maybe the unnecessary stress didn't cause the lack of feeling, but the lack of feeling caused the unnecessary stress. 

If things work out, they work out.  If they don't, don't dwell... move on.  Find things to do.  I've been in and out of relationships for YEARS and I'm only twenty!  I'm finally taking the time to slow down now... and I've truthfully never been happier in my life.  Maybe some of us are not meant to find that "special person"... and I think it's completely healthy to believe in that.

And another note, I have too many friends that are putting effort into relationships that they should clearly be walking away from.  I wish I could give every single one of them a glimpse of what it's like to walk away and clear your mind.  It's hard, and it takes a little bit of time, but you'll come out stronger than ever... and you'll laugh (or shake your head) and the silly things you put up with and all the time you've spent on something ridiculous.

If someone is treating you some way that you do not like, and it did not stop after acknowledging it once (or MAYBE twice), you can't change the person or the relationship.  It's time to walk away.  During a chat with a friend last night, it was brought up a couple times that an important part of a successful, meaningful relationship is the idea that you would be willing to put that person's needs before your own.  This is true, but NEVER does that ever mean you should put yourself in harms way, emotionally or phsyically.

This is a no-brainer... yet it's such a hard concept to grasp:

If you settle for less than what you want, you appear less valuable.  The girl who stays with someone who treats her disrespectfully is not showing devotion or undying love, she's showing that she can't find something better.........not because she thinks HE is the greatest thing on the face of the planet, but because she thinks she is not. 

You are worth it... and if you believe it, you'll find what you're looking for.